Fate, Karma, Guardian Angels, and a Wallet

So, my sister-in-law says I can tell you the story of an amazing thing that just happened to her and she'll only charge me $10. Because we're tight like that. And it's totally worth it because it's one of those tales where you stare at her afterward and go, "nuh UH!"

Check this out. And then tell me if you think it's just an amazing coincidence, karma, or guardian angels. Or prevailing winds. Or lunar tides. Here we go:

I know you'll find this surprising but women sometimes have trouble focusing on just one thing at a time, which makes us occasionally forget stuff. Like where we parked the car. Or where we left our wallet. Or that we have more than three children. Sometimes this penchant for sensory-overload-induced-amnesia makes us do things like temporarily set things aside and then never, like EVER, be able to remember what the heck we did with them.

Case in point: my fabu sis-in-law (hereinafter referred to as "SIL") is a devoted mom who sees to her children's development and education in a most stellar fashion. And so it was that two days ago she found herself at a soccer game in a city an hour from her home. During a break in the game she decided to go tank up the car for the return trip. So, she headed out to the nearest gas station.

While she was there SIL noticed that she wasn't exactly in the Mayberry part of town. Or at least, not at the Mayberry part of town's gas station. There was no Aunt Bea, no Barney Fife, and everyone stared at her like they'd never seen a girl before. (I'm not embellishing this at all. My sis-in-law will correct me if I am. She's a school teacher.) In any case, the surroundings made her more than anxious to finish the transaction and get back to the game. So she went inside and paid.

Then she came back out and discovered her keys twinkling merrily at her. From inside the locked car. Eep!

But all was not lost. Nope A back window was unrolled 2 inches, and SIL was able to force the lock with the gas station's window washer thingie. So it was all good and she soon was screeching away from the station and the cast of Deliverance with all of her body parts intact.

Now here's a breakdown of what happened next. Pay attention. It's important. Though probably not in exact order, because I'm tired:

SIL drove to the game. Watched the game. Loaded kid into car and began to wend her way home. In the course of the wending SIL found herself needing to flip a U-ey. So she did–after driving behind a building, bouncing over several Himalayan-esque speed bumps and jumping a curb. Then she drove up and down hills, through town, onto the freeway, traveled 45 minutes to the next town, stopped in said town to pick up an award for her soccer-playing-kid, resumed the drive, and finally ended up home–which happens to be at the top of a very steep hill.

Got that? It will be important in just a sec.

Eventually–probably after tucking everyone into bed like a good little mom. Or maybe on the drive home. I can't remember. It's not important–SIL realized that her wallet was missing. Like, she couldn't find it ANYWHERE. Then, after wracking her memories, she realized that during the whole locked-the-keys-in-the-car-at-the-scary-gas-station episode she had set the wallet on top of the car. The way you do. And then forgotten it was there. The way you also do. If you're a girl. So, she called her husband and told him to start canceling credit cards.

Now my brother-in-law (hereinafter referred to as "BIL") is my husband's brother. And my husband is one of those people who is very calm in an emergency. Like, when bad things happen he is able to deftly peel me away from where I have wrapped myself around his head in a blind panic, AND deal with the situation at hand. So it does my BIL credit that after he recovered from the freaked-out realization that they might be financially ruined, he calmly informed his wife that they could simply go retrace her steps the next day and see if they couldn't find the missing wallet.

Which they did. And this is what happened: Nothing.

The wallet was no where. Not at the soccer field (an hour away from their home, remember), not at the gas station from Deliverance, not behind the building, on any of the towering speed bumps, in the gutter next to the curb, in the street where the U-ey was performed, or anywhere in between. So they sighed and decided to go home to begin their new lives and new identities.


Somewhere several miles outside of town, and in the middle of the no-man's-land upon which the freeway resides in that part of the country, BIL screeched to a halt and pulled onto the shoulder.

"Wha?" said his wife.

"I think I see your wallet." said he.

So he trotted 60 yards back on the freeway, bent down, and picked something up. Then he moved into the long grass on the side of the interstate and started picking other objects up. 

"He's found my wallet!" thought my SIL, "And is apparently also engaging in the Keep America Clean project!" Then she got out of the car and started walking through the grass toward her beloved BIL. Er my BIL. Her huz. Beloved to her. Not that my BIL is not beloved to me. Just not in the same way as he is beloved to her. Um. Anyway.

Which is when SIL saw something fluttering in the omni-present breeze. Half a punch-card. It was hers! And a little further, a membership card–completely unscathed. And still further, a credit card. Then another. And the thirteen dollars that had been in her wallet. And papers and change and her driver's license, and other cards and bits and pieces of her life, scattered in the grass. Until every. last. thing. that had been in SIL's wallet, had been found. Not always entirely intact, but back in her possession. Having exploded onto the freeway from her wallet at 75.5 miles per hour. The night before.


How do you figure?

SIL's wallet had sat on that car through multiple trips in town, a soccer game, a u-turn, speed bumps, curb jumps, speeds up to and beyond 75 MPH, and then slammed to the ground, exploded, and its contents spent the night flapping in prairie winds? And EVERYTHING was waiting for her in one spot in the grass on the side of the interstate the next day?


Kinda makes me feel like . . . 


What do you think?

Me? I believe in guardian angels. I've been saved from scary things at the last second too many times to think otherwise. But, would they take the time to save a wallet? Maybe. Maybe they're that nice. Or maybe it was their spring break and they were bored. Thought they'd take a simple job. Slum a little.

Or it could have just been lunar tides.

Guess we'll never know. But it's mighty cool and pretty amazing, whatever it was.

About Janiel 433 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.

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