Twitchy Eyelashes. How to Deal.

Dudes, my eyelids are having seizures.

Like, they are twitching non-stop, and have been for days. Did you know that if you don't get enough sleep, that's what can happen? It is. Mine are. Doctor says it's lack of sleep, since I haven't slept in 3 weeks. Mostly because of pre-menopause. Or menopause. Or Downton Abbey.

So I'm walking around with my eyelids flapping like a bird. Well, actually it's just one eyelid. And people think I'm winking at them. Which makes for fun social situations, but I'm a bit old for the whole flirting thing. 

Also, the constant spasm is making my vision slightly wonky in that eye, and so I am a bit sea-sick on that side of my body. And somewhat dizzy. But just on that side.

It's nothing that a little sleep won't fix. And a few chugs of some sports drink to get me some minerals and electrolytes. But every time I go to bed early (read: slightly before midnight), my littlest dude wakes up with growing pains. Or a nightmare. Or a stomach ache. Or a solemn surety that the wind that is whipping raindrops against his window like tiny points of sand, is going to break through the glass and swallow him to death. 

I can't win, as they say, for losing. I am getting too old for this. And the twitchy eye-thing? To stupid for words. 

So, tonight I'm going to, once again, try to get some sleep. I am having a positive attitude. My kids are all snoring soundly. It's GOING TO WORK THIS TIME.

If not, then I'm going to go out and buy some lush false eyelashes and just go with it, you know? If I'm coming down with a chronic wink, then I am going to wink the living Vegas showgirl out of it. See what happens. Should make for some interesting writing material.

My new motto? If life gives you muscle-spasms, make a trip to your local beauty supply and tart-up the lashes.

 To read my Friday post on Challenging the Gnome–"Spit, Toothpicks, and Duct Tape,"–Click on this LINK.

For the fabulous Overnight Crockpot Cereal recipe which I meant to post last week, but am posting this week in an effort to distract myself from spazzy lashes, clickety-click HERE.

Peace out! Un-twitchily!

About Janiel 433 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.


  1. ‘I am going to wink the living Vegas showgirl out of it’. I snorted my tea.

    I conquered the sleep demon by using relaxation exercises and visualizations. I still wake up pretty early, but I get to sleep faster. Now I’m fighting the hot flashes alternating with clammy icies. Do you think false eyelashes will help those?

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