Mom vs School Parking Lot vs Dork Gene

I dropped my kid off at her early morning class the other day, while my other kid drove himself to school for early morning jazz band. He plays bass. Also upright bass. He's pretty cool.

Now, I don't know if you're like me (read: neurotic), but I get bothered when I don't get to say goodbye to my kids and watch them drive off or walk to wherever they're going. I feel sort of, I don't know, unfinished. Kind of like when you're driving with someone and the light turns red at the last second, and they hit the brakes, but let off right at the end and come to a nice smooth stop instead of giving you the normal backward resolution of motion. I HATE that. Don't you? I need that backward resolution of motion. I mean, don't you

So, I decided to drop by the high school, and if nothing else, wave goodbye to my kid's truck. And I was pulling in and saw the truck, and then suddenly realized that he had parked in faculty parking. He was going to get a ticket! I mean sure, the school had built a new faculty lot and it was possible that this had become student parking. But the signs were still up! He was going to get a ticket!

I moved the truck.

Then I felt funny about it. I mean, how was he going to know I'd moved the truck? My kid would come out, look around, not see the truck, and think someone had stolen it. He was going to have a heart attack. I don't like giving my children heart attacks. So I texted him. A big long explanatory text about how I was such a loving, caring mother that I didn't want him to get a ticket, and sure, this was minding his business, but I'm like that, isn't he grateful? Because I saved him a ticket.

But just to be sure, I asked another student. "Excuse me. Is that student parking or still faculty parking?" And she said something in answer. But . . . I couldn't really hear her. I THINK she said it was still faculty parking. That's what her lips looked like they said. So it was all good. I sent my son another text saying that I was sure it was faculty parking because another student probably said so. Then I drove off.

As I did, though, I noticed some more cars pulling into the faculty row near where my son had originally parked. And when the people got out they were very student-looking. So I watched them. Yep. Definitely students. I rolled down my window and asked about it, and they said, "Oh yes, this has been changed to student parking. Faculty has a new lot."

ACK!

I said that right out loud. "ACK!" Because while all this had been going on, other students had been pulling in and the row my son had parked in was almost full. I HAD TO GET THE TRUCK BACK IN THERE! AND AS NEAR TO WHERE MY SON ORIGINALLY PARKED AS POSSIBLE, SO HE WOULDN'T NOTICE. EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE I HAD ALREADY TEXTED HIM ABOUT IT. TWICE. BUT I WOULD BE LESS OF A DORK IF I GOT THE TRUCK BACK RIGHT WHERE IT ORIGINALLY HAD BEEN.

But I couldn't. Someone else was there. What to do? THINK! THINK! And then, shazaam! Two cars down there was an empty stall. WITH CARS MOVING TOWARD IT! WELL I DON'T THINK SO, LITTLE HIGH-SCHOOL-STALL-STEALING MISCREANTS! IT'S MIIIIIIIINNNNE!

I pelted from the minivan, threw myself into the front seat of the truck, laid rubber trying to make a 15-point turn (ginormous turn-radius), and slammed that 4 X 4 into the empty stall before anyone else could get there! "MWAA HAHAHAHA," I laughed." I DID IT."

Then I realized people were staring. And probably it had nothing to do with my PJ's. Or disheveled bed-head. Or makeup-free unwashed face. Or maniacal laughter. They knew I was one of those caring-type moms who move their son's truck to save them a ticket. Those were admiring looks, those were.

I texted my kid. Told him it was okay. His truck was right where it should have been. So what if it had been a little bit Three-Stooges getting it there (except really only one stooge)? Everything was turning out fine. Not to worry.

Then I got a text from my college kid. It went something like this: "Um. You know you're sending these texts to Dad and me, right?"

Er.

Turns out I'd picked a thread that had all three of them on it. Which for some people would be embarrassing. But not for me. I'm healthy like that.

(Note to self: Do some research into "Dork Gene, Evidence For.")

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About Janiel 432 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.

1 Comment

  1. Love it, you’re so funny! It’s comforting to know all my quirks I can blame on genetics, because you have them too! And no, you didn’t inherit them from me!

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