Thing To Never Give Husband For Christmas

So, do you remember that one time when I wrote about an eReader that I gave my husband for Christmas that he rejected and then when our friends gave him one, he loved it? That one time two days ago when I wrote about that?


Well, I mentioned that he decided to put the return money for the first eReader toward a camera he really wants. So I thought, hey! Perfect. I now know what to get the man who is utterly and completely impossible to shop for because he must do all of his own research, and besides that we can’t afford anything he is REALLY interested in. (Because we all know that guys only ACT like they’re interested in socks and ties. And even then, only when they’re from the children. HIS children. Not just, you know, ANY children.)


Um. Anyway. So I thought “EUREKA! (I did. I thought that.) I know what to get the impossible boy! I shall get him a book ABOUT the camera he wants!” It was perfect. We couldn’t afford the actual camera. And I didn’t want to take away his joyous camera-search in Photography Magazine, Pict-o-gram, Shutterbug, Aperture, Clicky-Thingy, and Auto-Focus (All of which I made up. Unless any of them actually exist. In which case we’ll assume that I am brilliant and just sort of KNEW those magazine names by osmosis.)


Yep. Great idea. Keep his mind busy. Give him something to look forward to. It was something he really wanted. How could I lose?


Well. Do you remember that one time when I bought my husband an “Everything You Wanted To Know About That Fabulously Expensive and Stylish Camera That You Really Want Super Bad and That Will Attract Women (Especially Your Wife, If You’re Married) But Were Afraid To Ask”? Yeah. Now he’s stealing the kids’ lunch money, searching couches in doctors’ offices, checking vending machine coin returns, and trying to get me hired out as a housekeeper.


He’s obsessed with the camera. He WANTS the camera. He sleeps with the book under his pillow. Frames everyone he talks to in a little square he makes with his fingers. Makes little picture-taking noises when we are at the movies. Says he’s going to save us all kinds of money on school portraits and Christmas cards.


I’m so excited.


Next year I’m getting him a book about painting the house.