Imagination is a wonderful thing. Unless it grabs you by the neck and gallops away, flapping you behind it like Monday's wet laundry.
Last night I had my fifteen minutes of marginal fame. And it all came about because of that epitome of human connection: Twitter. You see, a few days ago I read an article written by Dan Stevens of Downton Abbey fame. Mr. Stevens is the actor who portrays Matthew Crawley in the series, a character riven with moral high ground, grace, gallantry, good looks, and a dependable contemplative gaze. (A character who is also rumored to be leaving the series, by the way, for which I am not sure we can forgive him. Well, for that and other things which I shall discuss forthwith.)
Anyway, in the aforementioned article, Mr. Stevens–who is currently starring on Broadway opposite Jessica Chastain in "The Heiress"–offers his take on holidays and traditions Américaine. Events like the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Black Friday, and the general commercialism of life in the US of A. Well bless his British head, I found it a bit judgmental and generalized–even awash as it was in Anglo charm and, you know, haute-ness. This is my country, honey! You don't come here, take our money, and then diss us! Nay! I shall not allow it to go unanswered! I shall defend my land of the free and home of the brave and stuff! I shall take a stand! I shall tweet about it!
Which is what I did. On this order:
I liked #DanStevens a lot better before he implied Americans shoot each other on Black Friday after being terrorized by the Macy's parade.
Followed by:
Dude. Seriously. Wait until UR not earning US $$ on Broadway before U diss our holidays and generalize a few whackos.
You can imagine my surprise when last night I received notification that Dan himself had favorited my tweets.
"Oh. Em. Gee.! Squee! Dan Stevens favorited my mildly dissing tweets about him on Twitter! The tweets in which I boldly stood forth and defended my country! The tweets in which he saw my actual name and actually pressed the Favorite button! Well, of course he did! I was suave, urbane, witty. He probably found me brilliant! And now wants me to guest post on his online journal. I must speak with my agent about putting us together on stage! After I get an agent! Who knows where this will go!"
Well. Dan and I were friends now. It would make sense that I would send him another message. Just to, you know, let him know I totally got where he was coming from. So I suavely and urbanely followed up with this:
So, erm, you saw my tweets. Just so you know, I REALLY LIKE YOU IN DOWNTON ABBEY.
Oy.
And you know what I heard back?
A resounding *cricket*.
Yeah, it's over. Sigh.
Well. We'll always have Twitter. In the meantime, I'm off to put my imagination out of my misery.
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