John Carter of Mars! Go See It, People!

Dudes. What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Disney made a great space opera that is inexplicably failing at the box office, and I want it to stop. Because I want the sequels.  John Carter has everything: 6-armed aliens, adventure, a great story, clearly delineated right and wrong, a wonderfully imagined world, mysterious powers, mysterious beings, a gorgeous princess, an honorable and respectful hero–not to mention handsome. Not to mention clever. Not to mention handy. Not to mention super strong and he can leap like the Bionic Man (it's a gravity-thing). Plus Mark Strong is the bad guy. What else do you want?

I know. A TITLE.

Seriously. John Carter? What does that tell us about the movie? It's not a name we know. No one named John Carter ever did anything that went down in history either as heroic or dastardly. It brings nothing to mind. It is not even an unusual enough name to elicit curiosity. What was Disney thinking with "John Carter"? Most people I know either never heard of it or never thought about going to see it because its title is completely unremarkable. It should have been named–in my totally expert and not humble opinion–something like: John Carter, Warrior of Mars, or The Princess of Mars (like the book), or even something 1950's cheesy like: John Carter and the Princess of Mars. Or maybe Mars Wars. Heck, even something like John Carter and the Really Hot Chick Who Looks a Lot Like Catherine Zeta Jones But Better Plus a Hilarious Alien Voiced By Willem DeFoe and Did We Mention Taylor Kitsch Who is Quite Handsome would work. Because with movies and books, title is almost everything. It's our first impression. It's the thing that piques our interest.

Well, let me be the first to tell you, watching John Carter was like watching Star Wars for the first time. It's epic. It's funny. It has great character arcs and relationships. It is Good Overcomes Evil With Roman Steampunk Stormtroopers. John Carter is space cheese in it's most perfect form. AND, given that the original story was written 100 years ago (by Edgar Rice Burroughs), it probably forms the basis of every sci-fi flick ever made.

Please go see it. It is quite family-friendly (if your family can handle the spilling of blue alien blood), and redunkulous loads of fun. Let Hollywood know! We need sequels!

 

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About Janiel 432 Articles
My greatest pleasure in life has been raising my four excellent children--some of whom liked me so much that they keep coming back. My second greatest pleasure has been doing whatever I can to make people laugh and create bright moments. I hope to do a bit more good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to spend some serious time writing and singing in a castle somewhere in the UK.

10 Comments

  1. YES! Thank you. You’re spot-on about the film’s title. I think it was originally called John Carter of Mars, but for some reason they changed it. Disney really dropped the ball on that one.

    • Seriously. I hope the film kicks it in DVD release and Disney goes ahead with a sequel. I mean if Transformers, Madagascar, and Ice Age can have sequels ad eternum, surely John Carter can.

  2. Right on. John Carter of Mars is wonderful. Critics be damned, go see it. It is great. Cannot wait to see it again (I rarely go to the theatre twice to see a movie) and cannot wait to own it on DVD. There are 13 more books I hope Disney rushes to make another one soon.

    • Same here. I could have stayed in my seat and watched the movie again. It’s been a while since I felt that way. Thanks for the comment, Barry!

  3. Janiel, You are so right on all counts. I’m a part of the John Carter Files (find us on the web if you haven’t already). We’re 8,000+ and growing strong, and determined to see Disney recognize the huge $$$$ opportunity they have for this to become a global franchise and raging success with the two planned sequels already in the works by director Andrew Stanton. Have you seen the “Heritage” fan trailer? Search YouTube if you haven’t. It does everything Disney didn’t in two short minutes.

    • Just went and looked at the fan trailer, Brad, and you’re right. It does a worlds better job of marketing this movie than what Disney put out. They could have had a blockbuster on their hands if they’d stood behind their work and put some effort in. I hope they do that with the sequels. And I’m SO happy to hear they are in the works!

      Here’s the link to the fan trailer, in case anyone is interested:
      http://youtu.be/OzPVYy7LHIo

      • Unfortunately a sequel is not on Disneys radar hence the Back to Barsoom -we want a sequel to John Carter Facebook page. We are also at johncartertwo.com !

  4. Janiel, Fabulous write-up! The movie was great, but doomed by a bad name and a really bad marketing campaign! I’m hoping it hits a home run on blu-ray and dvd sales so it has a fighting chance for a sequel! Also, don’t forget that the online Disney Store is offering some merchandise (limited selection, but some), and the stuff I’ve ordered has be very good quality. I’d advise anyone interested to buy it and help the revenues for the JC property. In the meantime, come to johncartertwo.com and join the campaign for a sequel!

  5. Thanks for blogging about this amazing film. It voices like your’s that tell the truth and let other fans of this film know that they are not alone. The fanbase for this film is growing stronger every day. Whether or not Disney decides to pick up the reins to this potential GOLDMINE of a franchise and re-direct their train-wreck of a marketing campaign will depend solely on strong DVD/Blu-ray sales. Question is – will they correct their marketing stupidity by the June 5th release date or will John Carter slip into DVD release without much fanfare and only bad ads to support it? Fans like you will ensure that word gets out and this film becomes the beloved classic it’s destined to be. A sequel, though a longshot, is a must. Just think – JOHN CARTER made close to $300 million DESPITE Disney’s and the media’s best efforts to ensure that it failed. Visit backtobarsoom.com to join the fight or Facebook search “Take me Back to Barsoom! I want a John Carter Sequel!” We need all voices to be heard. Damn the critics and Disney’s poor promotion of this wonderful film.

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