What’s Your Theme Song? Gotta Have Mood Music.

Are you sitting down? I'm going to say something shocking:

Hollywood's got it right. 

I mean the way they set everything they do to music. Life would be so much more interesting that way.

Seriously. I need a theme song, don't you? Remember in "The Emperor's New Groove" when Kronk has kidnapped Kuzco and he's sneaking around the city trying to dump the Emperor in the river, and you hear Kronk making some noise, but you don't really register it until Kuzco says–in his capacity as Narrator–"Can you believe this guy? He's making his own theme music." And then you crack up because you realize that Kronk totally is? ("Ba-da-ba-Daaaaaahhh! Ba-da-ba-Dooooo! Ba-da-*Oh no! People! I'd better press myself inconspicuously up against this wall and accompany my actions with a sustained tone!*-Daaaaaaooooohhhhhaaaaaaooooohhhhhhaaaaaaaahh!")

Yeah. Everything would be better if we walked around with a little orchestra in our back pockets adding emphasis to our every move.

For example, how much easier would it be to face down your boss if Pat Benetar was hanging out in your purse (or if you're a man, your man-purse) waiting for the moment to start singing:

Like that wouldn't get you rolling. Not to mention the closed-captioned subtitles. I mean, people clear across the office would be able to see what you were saying. No need for a rumor-mill. It's right above your head.

And your personal relationships? Well, you could get your message across to your significant other—say, after a missed anniversary—without any words at all if this puppy were your theme song:


But mostly, I'd just like some personal mood music that would get everyone around me grooving. If your body is moving to music, if you're standing on tables dancing–problems just melt away. There's no room for them with all those notes flowing through you. If you got rhythm, and you got music, who could ask for anything more?

Try Mr. Pinstripe Suit on for size. Then tell me how you're feeling:


About Janiel 433 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.


  1. I have often thought the same thing. I’m all over the sound track from Under the Tuscan Sun. And you know, one of the things I like about living here is the background track – cicadas, crickets, birds, birds, birds, rooster. A little acoustic guitar and piano and it’d be perfect.

  2. Ooh! I’ll have to listen to that soundtrack. Haven’t heard it. Didn’t see the movie because it was clearly not taken from the book, though it had the same title.

    And I so agree with you about the Mid-West background track. Gorgeous! Miss it!

  3. I love this blog, since I was young I always thought the perfect world would have background music in my life. That way I’d know when something scary was about to happen, or something wonderful….depending on the tone and beat of the background music. I could be ready for life and then dance through the tough spots or cry with really melancholy music, all the more dramatic!

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