Overheard at Grandma’s on Labor Day Weekend

"Wait, wait. Let me see your tongue."


"Just show me. AAAAAAHHH! It's forked! I knew it! It's forked."

"No it's not!"

"Let's see who can stick their tongue out the farthest."

"I'll win."

"I'll win."

"I won't, I had to have that thingie clipped because I was tongue-tied. I haven't learned to stick it out yet."

"Let's take a picture!"

"Dude. You have a mustache. You do! It's awkward. It's a little baby mustache."

"Well I don't.  Feel this! Clean shaven. Have been for years."

"You're a girl."


"Stop making fun of my mustache."

"Take a picture!"

"Wait. Mom's in the background. Mom! Stick your tongue out as far as it will go!"


"I'm going to bed."

"Sorry I made comments about your 'stache."

"It's fine."

"Good night, my brother, forgive me pleeeease . . ." [Sung to the tune of "Goodnight My Someone" from The Music Man] "I did not mean to be mean, you seeeee . . . "

"Wow. Look at this picture of me. I look like I have a man-wig on."

"Hahahaha! It's creepy."

"In elementary school I used to always say [in an affected English accent] 'Murder! Murder in the bathroom!'"


"And my friend said that was creepy."

[cricket, cricket, cricket]

"1. 2. 3. NINJA STRIKE!!!"

[In affected slow motion] "WWWWWhhhhoooooaaa NNNNooooooooo!!!!!"

"Omigosh! I look like Professor Umbridge in this picture!"

"Waaa hahahaha!"

"If I swallowed a chunk of frog, this is what I would look like."

"HAH! *snort* I'm sorry! I have a problem with snortage when I laugh."


"Okay! One, two THREE. *snort snort, weeee weeee!"

"*Wee wee snort!*"

[click, click]

"You sound like a cat going through the garbage disposal."

"You sound like  a bison."

Please. Help me. I'm trapped at my in-laws with a bunch of kids and cousins.

It's been like this the entire weekend.

I can't wait until the Holiday is over. 

Sort of. 


About Janiel 433 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.

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