Domestic Diva Blogger on Gardens of Loveliness

Helloooooo my dearest dears! Summer is winding down. A summer wherein we've been showered with a PLETHORA of well informed and experienced bloggers writing about gardening. Posting pictures of their lovely backyard conservatories. Generally proving to the world that they have done what it takes to enjoy an oasis of loveliness all season long.

Braggadocios.

Well, the Domestic Diva Blogger knows better, muffins. Yes she does. The DDB is a BRILLIANT gardeneress, but she wouldn't DREAM of making her readers feel less than she by going on and on about how happy are her Hostas, how rarified her Roses, how lilting her Lily-of-the-Valley, even how tip-top her Tomatoes.

And she knows you wouldn't like to do that either. We are responsible citizens of humanity, are we not? Keepers of the esteem of self which quivers beneath the flesh of those around us. But what to do when we wish to share? May I offer some advice, my little Diva devotées?

Learn the art of understatement.

Yes. Blush. Be bashful. Understate your inherent ability so as to raise those around you up and beyond their current humdrum resources. Raise them up by your deep humility that they, too, might aspire to the glory of green-thumb-dom!

To wit:

Look my dears! How cleverly the Domestic Diva Blogger used grow boxes in her back yard this year!

They were almost no trouble at all. YOU could do this!


And see! See how the Domestic Diva Blogger allowed her flora to breathe . . .

 . . . and include local grasses to encourage regeneration of the natural habitat. How easy for you!


Note, my dears, how your beloved DDB nurtured the inherent instinct of her urban pastures:

Indigenous species will THANK you. Your neighbors will stand in awe.


No one ever need feel intimidated by your prowess with this little gem:

It's at the height of it's summer growth, my darlings! The height!

You may commence blushing in modesty.


As for the rest of the yard? Well, anyone can plant their trees correctly. But you, YOU! You can plant them with a character-riddled lean. All it takes is a shallow patch of dirt and a bit of wind:

And of course, as DDB has done here, you can add to your community spirit by allowing everything in your front garden patch to simply volunteer. That is right, my bucolic floriculture nymphs! Plant nothing and watch what springs up!

I love a surprise.

Run! Plant! Ignore! Be Free! Like Me!


There, see? Not difficult at all. Now everyone feels better. I know I do. Run along while your Domestic Diva Blogger goes to the basement to burn her Martha Stewart magazine stash.

 

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About Janiel 432 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.

3 Comments

  1. I love Martha Stewart – It’s my version of fantasy literature. I just tell myself that if I had her staff, my place would look that great, too.

    Confession: Our hostas crunch. I have to pick bugs off my veg plants. My chicken coop stinks. Our grass is so dry we’ve only had to mow it once in the last 5 weeks. Our walnut trees look great, though – especially the ones growing in the flower beds. My studio is a Di.Sas.Ter.

    I keep reminding myself that some day it will be cool again and I’ll feel like whipping things into shape. For now, I just keep slogging along.

  2. You’re brilliant, my dears, brilliant! You should consider blogging. You should.

    🙂

    (Thanks for making me feel better.)

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