My True Identity Revealed

Listen. I didn't want to say anything before this because I was a little worried about using my blog for self-promotion–I mean you know me. I'm all about the other guy.

But it's come to my attention that people have made the connection. And there's a momentum building, you know? People are talking, it's all over the internet, and blah blah. Rumors are flying. Impostors taking the credit. Well clearly I had to step forward and make a statement. So here it is.

This is me. Both of them. The people in this clip. They're both me. I know, I know. I'll wait a moment for you to wipe your tears and recover from shock. Go ahead. Also, the choreographer is me. May as well get it all out there in one fell swoop. And the judges. They're me too.

*sigh*

It's so hard. Watch:

 

If you think about it, it's all like, DUH! *forehead smack*. I mean look at the hair! Totally me. Those lines! The flexibility and strength! Look how I hold myself up in those lifts and then let myself down again so softly. Seriously, who else could do that?

Exactly.

No one but me.

And me.

And me.

And oh yeah. Me.

Not sure what I'll do now that this has gotten out. I guess I'll just start clearing a spot for all the Emmy's. They're going to be pouring in. Like MAD. Don't know where I'll put them all. Maybe the garage. The minivan can stay in the driveway. It may get a little weathered, paint may start to peel. But it's worth it, right? For the sake of truth and honesty.

It makes the world a better place.

And by the way, this is me too. There's a paper bag to your left there. Breathe into it a few times. It will help clear your head. Talent of this magnitude? Reality blowing. But what are you gonna do? I love how I look like Idina Menzel here. Well, I mean, when I'm not blurry:

 

 

Right?

There's something else too, but I don't want to overwhelm you, so I'll wait until later. Let's just say that my maiden-name wasn't really "Rowley." Nope. But it's really CLOSE to that. It's more like what it would be if you took the "ey" off the end and added an "ing" in it's place. And then you noticed that my first name starts with a "J". And no one's ever really heard my middle name, have they? Hmmmm. Could it start with a "K"?

For me to know and YOU to find out.

And by the way, I AM writing a prequel.

Thought you ought to know.


Share
About Janiel 432 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*