Do you remember that one time two days ago when I decided I wasn't a terrible mother, and then one of my kids did something that made me question that assertion, except you didn't know about that part because I hadn't told you yet, which is what I am going to do now? Do you?
Well, I have a little dude who has difficulty asserting himself when other people want to go all bossy-pants on him. As a result, he's gotten pushed around a bit in life–not too bad, but enough that my momma-bear comes out and I have to sit on my lips not to dial up whatever little miscreant did it and take his ears off.
The thing is, we've talked and talked with little-dude about it, and even done some role-playing. Nothing aggressive. Just trying to teach him how to respond so he retains his own power: says how he feels and what he'll do about it if it happens again (and this usually runs the gamut from walking away, to telling an adult about it.) But my child just responds by telling me he doesn't want to be rude. Doesn't want to make the other kid feel bad.
Ack.
No, no. This is a good thing. It is. It's just that, well, I DON'T WANT HIM GETTING PUSHED AROUND. (breathe. in. out. in. out.)
I've been despairing. Considering finding the money to send my kid to the Green Berets for training. And then today he came home and told me this:
"So, my friend yelled at me today."
"He did? Why?"
"I don't know. I said something, and he yelled 'NOOOO!'"
"Really? What did you say?"
"I can't remember. But he yelled at me. Twice."
"How did you feel about it?"
"I didn't like it."
"Did you do anything about it?"
"Yep."
"What did you do?"
"I told him if he ever yelled at me again I'D NEVER EVER PLAY WITH HIM AGAIN! EVERRRRRR."
*blink*
"Er. What did he do?"
"Started crying."
"What did you do?"
"Told him I was bluffing."
*blink, blink*
Wow. I guess if nothing else, my child can . . . confuse his attackers into submission.
Maybe my husband needs to raise our boys.
In the meantime, I will take parenting classes that teach me not to secretly hope my child puffed himself up and glared the other kid into submission with his impressively intimidating hidden ninja skills that he probably has.
*sigh*
Confusion is a powerful tool. Oh, yeah.