Domestic Diva Blogger Shares Wisdom

 Domestic-Diva-Blogger Wisdom Sharing Moment:

Do not ingest a tablespoon of honey before going to the gym at 6:00 in the morning. Even if the Local Raw Honey lady told you it's the best way to fight the allergies that are swelling your eyes shut each day, because hey! It contains pollen from every blinkin' flower within a 50 mile radius and will act as a natural immunizer if you slurp it every morning!

Fine. It might work. But don't do this before you go on your morning run.

You will be in the cardio-room at your local gym watching Adam Sandler (whose movies are generally not your type-) in "Bedtime Stories" (-but this one is actually kind of cute) while you try to keep your legs moving at breakneck speed because you have a FEW EXTRA GLOBULES OF FAT THAT HAVE RECENTLY SHOWN UP SINCE YOU'RE FREAKING NEARLY 50 YEARS OLD. IN 3 YEARS. YOU WON'T BE NEARLY 50 IN 3 YEARS, YOU WILL BE 50 IN 3 YEARS. THAT'S WHAT I MEAN. And you want to run said globules off, so you're galloping along and trying not to throw up on the treadmill because a tablespoon of Local Raw Honey is a lot of honey to take on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. Right before you run. So don't.

And that is what your Domestic Diva Blogger has to say for today.

In Other News

Do you know what I found out is the most googled keyword that brings people to this blog? Anyone? Anyone? That's right! Midges!  Yes, you heard me. Midg-es. Itty bitty fly-things that are very annoying and look like this:

They swarm in your face and make you nearly fall off the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. It's true. It happened to me. You can read about it here. Which is why, I assume, people are finding my blog on midge-searches.

This is disturbing.

I do not wish to be known as the Midge-Woman. I wish to be known as Janiel Miller. Or the Life-In-Bits-Woman. Or the Domestic-Diva-Blogger. But NOT the Midge-Woman. I know nothing about midges. Except that they are kind of gross. And annoying. And they should not be allowed.

So people! Stop searching for Midges! Search instead for me. I am cuter and much more fun. And almost 50 years old with globules. Which is way more interesting.

Especially when I wear my swimsuit over my clothes. Seriously.

I am going to go eat lunch. And there will be no midges. Or honey. 


About Janiel 432 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.

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