I Wasn’t Missing Half of Me

So, I came across this clip yesterday:

And I'm kind of wondering which half of him she completes. Like, the half that enjoys wearing little Louboutins and having mani/pedi parties with his pals? Or maybe the part that stays up all night secretly reading "Twilight" and being simultaneously bothered and wistful over Edward's stalkerishness? Or the half that gets up at one a.m. to check the child's fever and gets vomited on for the eighteenth time–then cleans it up, and lays on the too-small bed so the dreams in the moppet's sweating head are more peaceful? That part?

Because I'm thinking, no she doesn't. And he doesn't complete her impassioned football-play-man-discussion half, or the getting a second job so he can stay with the kids half, the bringing roses even when there's been a hormone-induced tirade half, or the belching contest half.

Real relationships involve four separate feet – two people each standing on two of their own. My husband doesn't stand on my two feet, and I don't stand on his. We can lean on each other, hold hands, even hold each other up. But we don't become each other. If two pillars do that, the whole structure caves in.

Nope. Sorry Hollywood. It sounds cute and all, but in real life? It ain't happening. Real relationships are more like this, from "On Golden Pond." Not being part of each other; rather, being supportive, strong, kind, and helping each other stand up straight. (Flaming Ears Warning: Henry Fonda does a little crusty old guy cursing. Nothing terrible. You can cover your ears if you want, but the scene is beautiful) :

I'd like us to be like them when we grow up. (Except the forgetting where I am part. I'd rather not do that one.) So I'm going to go get me a bigger pair of shoes to stand in. And a pair for my crusty old guy too.

About Janiel 432 Articles
I have managed to keep the same husband for nearly three decades, and the same four children for almost that long - although one or two of them say it has been much longer. I have been writing since I learned to hold a pencil, and trying to make people laugh even longer. I hope to do some good in the world before I go the way of it. And if not, I'd better at least get to visit Ireland.


  1. Yeah. What you said. Real life isn't like Hollywood. [Even Hollywood isn't like Hollywood.]

    I object to the 'being part of' thing because it negates my integrity as a person. I am whole without anyone else. People who aren't already whole on their own are impossible to have healthy relationships with.

  2. THANK YOU Robin! I am officially hiring you to write the wrap-up paragraphs for all of my posts. You start now. Go ahead and write one. Anything. I'll create a post to go with it.

    Maleah, you should see that movie. It is lovely. But you should put your kids to bed first because Henry Fonda and a couple of others have mouths on them. Also it is hilarious to watch Jane Fonda sucking her 40-something-year-old stomach in for all she's worth in the bikini scene.

    Maegan – I'm calling you WhipSnap from now on.

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