I’m thinking that my blog must be boring as snot (which, as we all know, is pretty boring) because I don’t do the whole slice-of-life-thing like most other bloggers do. I tend to, you know, orate. Pontificate. Expostulate. Expound. Dullthesensesofmyreaders. Other bloggers don’t do this as much, and people like it. I think its time to offer A Slice Of Janiel’s Life. Here we go:
So like, today, I totally woke up late and the backs of my knees were sweaty, and I was all like, gross, and then I threw my alarm clock across the room because it didn’t wake me up – it went off, it just didn’t wake me up.
And then my kids came in and totally jumped on me, well my eight year-old did, and he said he couldn’t go to school today because he had the diarrhea flu, even though he didn’t have diarrhea, and he’d probably throw up, but I told him no he had to go to school and that was the end of that, so go get dressed, and he totally did. Much to my surprise.
Then my other son who had been sick went to school early because he had stuff to do and I was all proud and stuff because he was being responsible, but it sort of made me misty because he’s, like, all growing up and pretty soon he’ll be in college, like his older sister who I miss a lot and am worrying about because she’s way not eating enough with all the stress and running back and forth between upper and lower campus, but she loves it and so I’ll have to send her a care package of food.
And then I took my other daughter to the Junior High School early to pay the fee for Shakespeare team, which do they think we’re made of money! Everything costs freaking a ton! and anyway this boy totally like blew right through us without looking and we were nearly slammed up against the wall, and it massively took me back to my Junior High days in Germany where my school was an old World War II hospital that they’d repurposed on Ramstein Air Base, and I remembered going up to the Base Exchange cafeteria to eat because my school cafeteria was filled with officers’ kids who all had like social issues because their dads ignored them except to order them around and their moms ignored them because of the officer’s wives club and so the kids dealt with it by throwing ketchup covered fries at everyone during lunch.
And where was I, oh yeah, eating at the BX cafeteria – and I accidentally threw my retainer away this one time and had to garbage dive for it, and then another time this officer was behind me and he totally had his tray loaded up and the line was really long and I was trying to decide between carrots or gravy fries and I can’t talk without waving my hands around and so I did, and then I knocked this dude’s tray right out of his hands and all of his food went on the floor and it had taken twenty minutes to get it because it was so crowded and he could have yelled at me but all he did was close his eyes and sigh and say it was okay and he’d take care of it and wasn’t he nice? Totally.
But it was better than the junior high cafeteria, which was nuts. Except my daughter’s cafeteria isn’t that bad.
And then I kissed my husband goodbye. And then I wrote on my blog.
Wow. That felt good. I feel sort of, I don’t know, cleansed.
I need to do this more often.